Celebrating 47 years of compassion: The inspiring journey of Boyce and Anne Barker
Friday, July 26, 2024
Boyce and Anne Barker are retiring after 47 years of dedicated service to children in care.
Their journey began in 1973 when they adopted their first child, a little boy who was just four weeks old. Three years later, they welcomed a five-month-old baby girl, into their family. This marked the beginning of a lifelong commitment to nurturing children in need.
In 1979, Boyce and Anne started to explore pre-adoption fostering. Over the years they’ve done it all, long-term, short term and respite, caring for over 50 children.
Subsequently, Anne was also a childminder for 25 years providing a day care as part of children’s services.
Their fostering journey includes remarkable milestones, such as adopting five children on the same day after years of navigating the paperwork.
Over the decades, they officially adopted eight children and consider three more their own, as Boyce fondly puts it, "We didn't adopt them, they adopted us."
Boyce and Anne have witnessed significant changes in fostering over the years, from increased paperwork to enhanced training and development.
They note that children today are more streetwise and informed about their rights. Boyce says, we’ve seen it all; from "You're not my dad" to "Boyce, will you please be my dad?"
Facing challenging days was a regular part of their lives. As Anne explains, "Sometimes you don't even know you're having a challenging day – you're just doing your best, one kid, one day at a time."
They reflect that making a difference takes time, and sometimes it was hard to feel like you were making a difference. “But the kiddies need stickability, they need to see you’ll be consistent. And that’s what we did.”
They agree stepping away from fostering was a hard decision. “For me, it’s always been about the kiddies,” says Anne, “when I knew we couldn't provide the same care and support it was time to stop.”
Over the years, Boyce and Anne have met wonderful, committed people; it’s plain to see social workers and other foster carers who put the children first. Over the years they’ve built up a network of colleagues who’ve turned into friends. They’ve seen many children grow up, but also newly qualified social workers develop over the years into managers.
They were able to grow and build up their own knowledge too - Anne supported the team by helping to deliver training for the fostering and adoption teams. Boyce proudly shares Anne's achievements, starting stories for her and encouraging her to finish them.
Important qualities for foster carers, according to the Barkers, are commitment and the ability to listen and learn. Boyce's eureka moment came when he realized, "You're not always right. You just have to be honest, say you don't know the answer, and try to find it. Say you're sorry and move on."
Their extended family is a testament to their upbringing, always ready to help others. Our family, they’re the most caring people that you’ll ever meet and they’ll always go out of their way to help anyone.” They remember their children using a translator app to communicate with a Kurdish child they’d looked after for one night.
Boyce recalls coming home from work and Anne told him to go look in the nursery where he found a baby girl asleep in the cot. At first, he didn’t realise a second baby was asleep at the other end. They welcomed ‘the twins’ into their home and later adopted them.
Boyce is ill, he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and says it makes you think about your life. “I have these lasting memories of camping holidays abroad. Walking down the beach carrying a 4-man dinghy filled with life-jackets, buying baguettes and cheese and sitting on the beach eating cheese sandwiches together as the sun went down. I’ll never forget that.”
Anne reflects, "Fostering has given us a family – our kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids."
Boyce and Anne's story is a remarkable testament to the power of love, commitment, and the impact of fostering. As they retire, they leave behind a legacy of hope, resilience, and countless lives transformed by their care.