Are you worried about a young person?
Trigger warning – this web page discusses suicidal feelings.
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If you are worried someone is thinking about suicide, don’t be afraid to ask them straight out. This will not put the thought in their head.
What makes someone think of suicide?
We all feel overwhelmed at different times in our lives, this is a normal experience. We all deal with life’s challenges in our own unique way. Having suicidal thoughts is common and can occur for many reasons and sometimes for no reason at all.
It’s important to remind ourselves that thoughts and feelings about suicide or self-harm do not have to be acted out.
These feelings have been described as experiencing a sort of tunnel vision and when in the middle of a crisis someone can believe that suicide is the only way out.
Research shows that many suicide attempts are done on impulse, during moments of crisis. Recognising early warning signs is important, and asking someone about suicide will not put the idea in their head. Providing support can help them realise and consider alternative options.
“you don’t seem your usual self… tell me about your pain”
“You look like something’s worrying you, I want to help…”
“You’ve had a lot going on recently… how are you feeling?”
“If you can’t talk to me, who else could you talk to?”
What to look out for
Spotting some of the signs
- talking about feeling useless or that people would be better off without them
- not wanting to do the things they usually enjoy
- not wanting to be around family and friends
- increased alcohol or drugs use (including prescription drugs)
- being more angry or distant than usual
- changes in sleep patterns and eating habits
- neglecting themselves and not caring about their appearance
- saying ‘goodbye’ to friends and family as if they won’t see them again
- giving things away, especially items important to them
- suddenly seem calm or happy after they’ve been really low
- writing, drawing or talking about death or suicide (even in a joking way)
- searching the internet about suicide or methods
- having a suicide plan
- saying they hear voices telling them to hurt themselves (in this case make a GP appointment, take them to the Emergency Department or contact emergency services).
- ask someone you trust (family member, teacher etc) if they have noticed anything different about the person you are worried about. But be sensitive about what you share
What can increase the risk?
Although anyone can have suicidal thoughts and at any time in their life, some things increase the risk of young people taking their own life, these include:
- previous suicide attempts
- having a low mood that lasts for a long time
- having an eating disorder where the control of how much food they eat is used to cope
- the loss of someone close (especially by suicide) or loss of a pet
- being a victim of bullying or violence
- having no real friends
- being pressured or embarrassed on social media
- struggling with their sexuality or gender identity
- having feelings of guilt or under too much pressure to succeed
- using alcohol or drugs (increases risk taking)
- important life changes (such as break-ups, living situation)
- experience of trauma and abuse
- having a serious or physical illness
- those who act on impulse
Self-harm with injury
Self-harm with injury is mentioned as a possible warning sign, but self-harm is often a way of coping and does not in itself mean they have suicidal thoughts or intention.
Visit www.selfharm.co.uk for more information.
How can I help?
Talk to them
Supporting someone who’s having suicidal thoughts is hard. It’s both physically and emotionally exhausting.
You need to take care of yourself and know where to go for support and advice (see pages 17-18). Also make sure that you have someone to talk to. You may feel uncomfortable talking about suicidal feelings and may not know what to say or how to start the conversation, this is normal.
If you are supporting a friend, realise that most people who feel suicidal actually hope someone will help them talk to their family or carer.
“You can talk to me about anything, I want to help”
“What if I were to help you have the conversation with your…?”
“Would you allow me to explain it to them?”
“Did something happen to make you feel this way?”
“I’m really sad to hear you’re feeling like this, how can I help?”
Show you care
Show you care: Ask if you can give them a hug or hold their hand. See things from their point of view and believe in their pain.
Have patience: They may not tell you everything straight away.
Don’t fill the silence: You may find yourself asking unimportant questions.
Listen, listen, listen: You don’t need to have answers but listening shows that you care.
Keep their hopes up: Try to make them feel better about themselves. Share things you like about them, their qualities, their skills, and why they are important. Remind them of positive things to look forward to, especially in the near future. If they mention something they care about (a pet, sibling, sport, place) try to keep this positive connection going.
Reassure them: 1 in 4 people experience these thoughts and feelings so they are not alone, let them know it’s ok to talk or cry. If they cry, just sit with them.
Feelings will pass: Try to agree what they can do to keep themselves safe right now (pages 11 & 12). This will put some time between harming thoughts and any actions, it will allow the feelings to pass. Once things are calmer, you can work together to find different solutions.
Sometimes you just have to ask…
- ‘How are you coping since…?’
- ‘If you could change anything right now, what would it be?’
- ‘Things sound tough…can you tell me more?’
- ‘Are you thinking about suicide?’
- ‘What has stopped you giving in to these thoughts?’
- ‘Do you have a suicide plan?’
By using the word suicide, you are showing the young person that it’s okay to talk to you about their feelings no matter how difficult they are. You will not be giving them ideas.
What if they say ‘yes’?
Do not judge or dismiss them and try to stay calm.
Sometimes it may be easier for them to write down or draw how they are feeling, so use whatever works best for them. Even having a hot drink to hold can be a good distraction while talking.
- ‘Do you have what you need to carry out your plan?’ (items to use, place to go)
- ‘Do you know when you would do it?’ (time)
- Do you plan on taking your own life?’
If they are at immediate risk or need urgent medical treatment go to your nearest Emergency Department or call 999.
If you feel they are in crisis and have a suicide plan they are going to act on, talk to someone straight away and seek help (see pages 17 - 18).
Reassure them
- “You are not alone in this. I’m here for you”
- “Things must be so painful for you to feel like there’s no other way out. But I care for you and want to help”
- It’s hard and scary to talk about suicide but take your time. I will listen”
- “I need extra help, someone who can help you keep safe”
- “You may not believe it now, but these feelings will change”
Try to avoid…
- changing the subject (they may feel unheard)
- saying ‘man up’ ‘you’ll get over it’ (they may feel dismissed)
- getting too emotional (they may feel guilty for upsetting you)
- saying ‘don’t be doing anything silly’ etc (they could feel criticised)
- fixing the problem (they may feel they have no control)
- dismissing their emotional pain (they may feel more alone)
- blaming yourself!
What to do in an emergency
“I really want you to stay with us, we need some help”
If they are at immediate risk or need urgent medical treatment go to your nearest Emergency Department (A&E) or call 999.
If you feel the situation is at crisis or the young person has a suicide plan, and they are going to act on it, talk to someone straight away and seek help.
Contact the CAMHS ReACH team (crisis team). A parent/carer or professional can ring for advice and support in a crisis, the young person can do it themselves if they are over 16 years old. Call and ask for mental health support.
This is available between 9am – 8pm, seven days a week. Tel: 01924 316200.
If the young person is over 18 years old they can ring the Adult Mental Health Team on 01924 316900.
Contact your GP (there is an out-of-hours service) or NHS 111
Be clear and tell them what is happening and why you are worried. The people answering these calls are friendly and are used to helping people talk about difficult things.
- stay with them until support arrives or the situation is calmer
- remove any obvious means of suicide or harm (rope, belts, tablets, sharp objects etc)
- try to stay calm and re-assure them you are staying with them and that you care
- keep them talking
- keep yourself safe
Practical help
Ways to help them stay safe for now and in the future.
If they are not at immediate risk, ring your GP or contact the Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) single point of access (SPA) for advice as soon as possible. This is available 9am – 5pm Monday – Friday
Tel: 01977 735865
If the young person is over 18 they can ring the Adult Mental Health Team on 01924 316900
Re-assure them, stay with them, and keep them talking
- agree with them how they can keep safe right now (such as remove any items that may be used for harm and staying away from unsafe or isolated places)
- agree what can be put in place to help now and in the future
- support them to identify people who they would talk to. This coud be a family member, a trusted person in school, college, university or at work, a GP or helpline. Make a list of these contact numbers and websites so the young person can access support 24/7 (see pages 17-18) and encourage them to keep a copy in their room and numbers in their phone, so they know what to do if the strong feelings return
- try out some of the coping techniques with them
Different techniques can be found on the websites at the back of the booklet.
All the above can be used as part of the safety net (safety plan) found on page 14.
When they are calmer, encourage them to create a comfort kit or feel good box.
They can add items like pens, a sketch or puzzle book, an uplifting music playlist, a fidget board, nail varnish, something nice to smell and a favourite chocolate bar. Encourage them to make it their own.
This can help them get through a difficult day or night.
Offer to support any initial contact with services whether they are face-to-face or online. You can also request for the Samaritans to ring the young person, but you will need their permission first.
“If we make an appointment with the GP and I take you, would you tell them how you’re feeling?”
Creating a safety net
A safety net (or plan) is there to help ‘catch’ the young person if they start to struggle, it will help put things in place so they can get the right support at the right time.
It is easier to put together a safety net when they are not in crisis, but it’s never too late to start one. You may need to guide them, but the young person needs to make it their own and feel in control of what is in it.
This may include:
- not being alone
- listing people and helplines they will talk to (maybe explore how to start those conversations)
- using specific distractions or coping strategies
- removing certain items from their room or house
- using the ‘feel good box’
Look after yourself
Supporting someone who is having suicidal thoughts is hard!
If you are supporting a friend, talk to their parent or a trusted adult. Do not try to support them by yourself.
• Ensure you have someone you trust who you can talk to
- talk to your GP about talking therapies for yourself
- take time out
- join a local or national support group
- access websites and services that can support you as well
Papyrus HopeLine
www.papyrus-uk.org
Offer online text or phone support to young people.
Call 0800 068 4141 or email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Samaritans Free
Any time, from any phone on 116 123
Email: jo@samaritans.org
or chat through
www.Samaritans.org
Wakefield Samaritans have a drop-in (see their website).
SHOUT
Text Shout to 85258.
Free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.
ChildLine
www.childline.org.uk
Free, any time, day, or night for help with any worry (under 19’s).
Call 0800 1111, email or use the online 1-2-1 counsellor chat.
Grassroots Suicide Prevention
Download the ‘Stay alive’ app.
Heads Above the Waves
www.hatw.co.uk
Online advice, support and strategies for young people suffering from depression and self-harm.
Alumina
A free, online 7-week course for young people struggling with self-harm (10–17-year-olds).
Head Strong
Information, stories and videos to support your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Mindout
Online instant message service that’s confidential and anonymous to support the wellbeing of LGBTQ+.
Mind
https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk/
A safe place to listen, share and be heard.
Doc Ready
Helps you prepare to talk about mental health to a GP.
The Mix
Helpline 0808 808 4994. In crisis? Text ‘THEMIX’ to 85258. Online one to one chat plus a counselling service (under 25s).
Young Minds
Emotional wellbeing support and advice for children and young people.
BEAT
www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk
Support and advice around eating disorders, also one to one web chat and phone support.
Hope Again
www.Hopeagain.org.uk for bereavement support.
Victim Support
Call 0300 3031971. Practical support for anyone (including under 18s) who has been affected by crime.
Inspiring Futures
Call 0300 123 1912. Young people/adults (under 25s) confidential drug and alcohol support service in Wakefield.
Talking Therapies
Call 01924 234860 for local support around anxiety, low mood etc (for over 16s).
Youth Hubs
www.wakefieldfamiliestogether.co.uk
Provide support around health and wellbeing, and access to activities and groups for young people delivered by Youth workers.
Compass RISE
Wakefield children and young people’s emotional health and wellbeing service. Text ‘BUZZ’ to 85258 for text or messaging support, or download the ‘Wakey Wellness’ App.
Night OWLS
Call free on 0800 148 8244. Text 07984 376950. Online chat wynightowls.org.uk. Confidential support line, 8pm-8am every night for children and young people living in West Yorkshire.
Spectrum
www.spectrum-sexualhealth.org.uk
Provide free confidential sexual health and pregnancy support and advice.
School Nurse
School nurses can provide support and advice on a range of topics and worries. Download the ‘Children’s Health Services’ app.
Free To Be Me
Email: freetobeme@kids.org.uk. Call: 01924 683 890. Provides a safe space for young people to feel comfortable to explore their identity (disability, neurodiversity or LGBTQIA).
WF-I Can
Offers trusted information, support and self-care tips on a range of topics and worries. There’s also monthly challenges and a gallery to share your creativity.
Thank you to the young adults, parents and colleagues who helped develop the suicide prevention material.
Please Note: The information within this web page is correct at the time of publishing (May 2026)